Hi there! I’m here to talk about a pretty unique book I got the chance to read early. **And every day we are reminded that discrimination against marginalized communities is still a serious problem, so click here to find a compilation of resources where you can donate your time, money, or whatever you can to support these communities. I still encourage you to research these causes on your own to educate yourself and find the best way to lend your support.**
A few months ago, a good friend of mine, Sam, read this YA debut horror book called Hell Followed With Us. After they finished, they would not stop singing its praises – primarily for its great trans and autistic rep, and its portrayal of religious trauma. So when it went up on NetGalley as a Read Now option, I snagged it and downloaded a copy before the title was archived at the beginning of June. I will say the formatting wasn’t the best, and so it took me a bit longer than normal to get through the book as I wanted to make sure I picked up on everything on the page, but it didn’t impact my overall thoughts or enjoyment of it I just wanted to mention it.
Benji is sixteen-years-old and is on the run from the religious cult who’s raised him for the past five years – the very same cult who decimated the world’s population and left very few clusters of survivors scattered around the globe. He’s searching for a place where he can’t be found, and, more importantly, where they can’t get their hands on the dangerous and perfected bioweapon they infected him with. When he feels trapped, Benji is rescued by a group of teens from the local Acheson LGBTQ+ Center (ALC for short). Their leader, Nick – gorgeous, autistic, and a deadly shot – knows the secret Benji has been hiding – the bioweapon is mutating him into a monster deadly enough to wipe out the rest of humanity, or at least the rest of the nonbelievers. Still, Benji is offered a place of solace at the ALC, as long as he can control the monster and use its power to keep the others safe. Benji agrees, until he learns that Nick has secrets of his own, and that he may never truly be safe.
*the letter from the author prior to the start of the novel has the following content warning: “this book contains depictions of graphic violence, transphobia, domestic and religious abuse, self-injury, and attempted suicide.” please take care of yourself and pick this up only if you’re in a good head-space to do so, it will still be there when you’re ready*
Now I am not a reader who actively chooses to pick up book that are heavy on action and gore. From the letter from the author at the beginning I knew what I was getting into, I just don’t normally pick up these kinds of books. But I want to be clear that I’m not saying these books don’t deserve to be written. Hell Followed With Us is full of anger and trauma and rebelling against the force that has made you feel worthless for longer than you can remember. It’s about trying to escape in order to heal and being re-traumatized at every turn. There is hurt. A lot of it. And underlying it all, there is hope. It’s a story that needs to be told, and certainly one that will find its audience – it has already found a pretty substantial following with whom its message has resonated so strongly, and I’m glad to see it. The book starts off with action, Benji trying to escape the scene where his father has just been murdered by people whom he’s been taught to trust, and I’ll admit I was a bit confused. It’s one of those stories where you’re thrown in and have to keep reading in order for things to be explained, and it definitely took me some time to become accustomed to the world. While I do think the ending got a little muddled, again it’s a point of major action and I got a bit confused, there is so much to love about everything in between. From found family (the queer teens at the ALC who may not always get along but rely on each other for survival), to on page and named autistic representation in Nick, to Benji’s inner thoughts about dysphoria, there are so many discussions that caught me off guard in the best way and were more powerful than I can put into words.
One thing I especially want to highlight is the massive religious trauma wielded throughout the book. It really does such a great job at showing just how destructive indoctrination can be on someone’s health and mindset. It doesn’t matter how strongly you’ve deconstructed, or how much you know in your mind and heart that what you’ve been taught all those years is harmful and hateful, there will always be times when those teachings crop back up in your life and make you react in certain ways. This doesn’t mean you’ve failed in your journey of healing, far from it as long as you acknowledge your words and actions as harmful – it just shows how deeply trauma can affect someone. As someone who spent more than half their life at religious institutions, even I have to give myself pause when a thought crosses my mind sometimes. Not everything I’ve ever been taught has been wrong, but I’ve had to sort out my beliefs so they better align with what I, in the present, believe to be right.
In conclusion, I’m not entirely sure this review made a lot of sense. I have a lot of thoughts about Hell Followed With Us, and I’m sure that I’ll gain more insight from the story when reading a second time, since I’m not personally skimming through some of the heavier action to make sure the characters I care about made it out ok. I truly can’t wait to see the book find [more of] its audience and to resonate with readers who need to feel like their feelings are valid and acceptable. Hell Followed With Us is set to be released on June 7th, 2022 (which is the day this post goes live) so please join in wishing it a happy book birthday and consider picking up a copy if you’re interested. *Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher, Peachtree Teen, for the early copy, all thoughts and opinions are my own.*
Where to find Hell Followed With Us:
Bookshop
Amazon
Goodreads
Storygraph
Peachtree
Andrew Jospeph White’s site
Thoughts About Things 